How would you handle an unwelcomed conversation by someone invited into your home that was sent to do a job for you? A conversation by a stranger who knows nothing about you but quickly judges you and your home, as if evaluating some cover of a book without understanding the story within. This person, who was supposed to devote their time to completing the task at hand, chose instead to spend the entire hour preaching the gospel of God, imposing their beliefs upon you. They looked around and deemed your home a reflection of the devil’s playground, even going so far as to claim that a legion of demons was visible to them, simply because your house is filled with an extensive collection of horror movie memorabilia. You found yourself caught off guard when this individual declared, “First of all, so you know, I’m not afraid to be here,” as if their mere presence was an act of bravery. Their words left you not only dumbfounded but also questioning the very essence of hospitality and judgment, contemplating how someone could so easily overlook the personal narratives that shaped your home. It was a surreal moment, blending discomfort with an urge to defend your passions and choices, while grappling with the audacity of someone who had crossed a boundary that many would consider sacred.

I wanted to end this visit within the first ten minutes of hearing the preaching, but giving the benefit of the doubt that this person, who was sent to do some light house cleaning for me, would soon unseat herself from my chair and start doing her job. As I attempted to be patient, a flicker of hope ignited within me that she would soon realize the task at hand and take the initiative to start cleaning. That job, however, would never happen, as I foolishly sat there, listening with pent-up anger inside, battling to not unleash my frustration in tongues to her out loud. My mind raced with thoughts about how ineffective this situation was, yet I held back, knowing that showing my irritation might only make matters worse. She was a nice and sweet person, which undoubtedly played a big part in my decision to keep silent, trying to remind myself not to take it out on her, even though I struggled with the injustice of my wasted time. The more I tried to suppress my emotions, the heavier they felt, weighing down on me like an anchor, as I sat there, trapped in my own thoughts and quietly wishing for some resolution to the bizarre scenario unfolding before me.

I was not paying for her services, but that still didn’t give her the right to preach an unwelcome and uninvited sensitive subject conversation on me. She even expressed to me that she is risking her job and could be fired by trying to help me to be led to God, as if her personal beliefs were somehow more important than my comfort or privacy. First of all, I never asked for this unsolicited help that you willingly bestowed upon me, and your risk of losing your job is not on my conscience because I didn’t request any of this conversation. All I wanted was for you to do your job effectively, fulfilling your obligations without injecting your personal judgments or moral compass into our interaction. It felt intrusive and unexpected, like an unwarranted burden placed upon my shoulders, which only added to my discomfort in an already challenging situation. Your attempt to guide me in spiritual matters was not only inappropriate but also overshadowed the professional relationship we were meant to maintain, leaving me feeling judged rather than supported in the task at hand.

Perhaps I should have spoken up in the first several minutes, expressing my understanding of her beliefs and acknowledging the significance of her praying before entering my apartment. However, I found myself feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was taking, and I would have appreciated it if she could simply focus on her job without the added layers of personal beliefs. My reluctance to voice my feelings stemmed from the fact that I had previous visitors from this center who conducted assessments, and their prior visit had left me with the impression that they had communicated certain judgments or expectations to her before her arrival. This notion made it difficult for me to discern the basis of our interaction, especially when she mentioned feeling at ease in my home due to her prayerful preparation. It felt as though there was an underlying narrative being constructed, one that I was not fully privy to, which contributed to my anxiety about this meeting. I really wish I’d expressed my discomfort sooner, as it might have led to a more straightforward and less charged dialogue between us, allowing us to proceed with her professional obligations without the shadow of unspoken tensions.

I will be seeing her again later in the week at the center, as I will be visiting there as well, not only to do my occupational therapy but also to enjoy my time with others who share my condition. It’s a place where we can all support one another, bond over our experiences, and even form lasting friendships. I appreciate the other staff members I have grown to feel comfortable being around and conversing with; they make the atmosphere so much more inviting and warm. I truly enjoy the company and cherish the conversations we have, as they really help lift my spirits and brighten my day. I feel welcomed and loved, surrounded by individuals who understand me, and I genuinely don’t want to lose that by allowing the awkwardness of this one person to affect my experience. This individual perhaps made an uncomfortable first impression on me by entering my safe place—my comfort zone, my home—where no one has the right to judge me or make me feel uneasy. I believe it’s important to remember that our spaces for healing and connection should remain free of judgment and negativity, allowing us to thrive in a supportive environment.

I don’t want to feel as if I made a mistake by giving myself openly to staff, especially considering the vulnerability that comes with sharing personal experiences and trusting others. This includes my decision regarding a life-changing health matter, which I took very seriously and approached with careful thought and consideration. I fear that one bad personal experience in my home, stemming from an interaction with a member of their staff, could overshadow the trust I had placed in them and undermine the positive intentions I had in seeking their help. It’s crucial for me to maintain faith in the system, despite occasional setbacks, because every new relationship and interaction should be an opportunity for growth and healing rather than a source of doubt and regret.

Sincerely,

David L

Healingwithart